Tag Archives: Nightmares From The Chair

Many of you may know me from my first blog series, 365 days living in the moment. In the series I posted something every single day for a year. A lot of those posts had to do with the idea of being president in a moment and not letting the simple moments pass by, instead acknowledging them. I believe Life is in the little moments that people often dismiss. What I didn’t talk about as much through that series is the fear of the unknown. Why because anxiety live in the future, depression lives in the past, and as I sit here I live in the present. I have had to keep reminding myself of that lately. My anxiety has been really high. Especially around work. All I want is a permanent position. Then as I talk to friends of mine and think about it I realize “permanent” is not…

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If you have been following my journey with the smart drive you know it has been a love-hate relationship. Mostly love. I believe I mentioned in one of my previous blog posts I was getting and you mount as the original one seemed to have a loose screw. This is an issue because if the mount is loose the smart driver wheel itself cannot fully extend and therefore can easily fall off the chair or cause damage to the unit it’s self. My original mount was becoming loose after it would use it emergency stop feature. This would be in acted accidentally but still obviously be an issue. Yesterday I got a new mount after contacting smart drive and explaining my issue. They are so easy-going and we’re happy to help me and send a new mount. It was only after inspecting the old mount and comparing it to the…

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I was coming home from a very interesting week, to say the least and I was already kind of pissed that I would be home later than I thought, because I had to catch a later bus. But whatever I was going to get home. I was listening to music minding my own business and I guess I wasn’t paying as careful attention as I normally would be but I came across a crack in the sidewalk that was apparently too much for the smart drive so it stopped and I ended up sliding out of my chair down my casters like right onto my butt on the sidewalk. It was actually a very graceful fall. I know what car did see me and I just waved at them and said it was OK and they went about their business. Quite honestly I thought it was OK. I popped right…

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I like to think I can handle judgment. I’ve had to overcome most of my life. Recently though I ran into a situation where someone who I have never even interacted with was so sure that I couldn’t do my position that I shouldn’t be working. Of course this is not true and nothing has happened because of it yet except for my loss of sleep and Stress levels probably went up like 1,000,000%. I also probably got gray hair because of it, thankfully I had an appointment with Nikki two days after this happened so any gray hair has now been concealed. I just don’t understand why people do this to their people. People who I have spoken to about this will say that people just like drama. There must be more to it though, because you’re talking about another person can indirectly directly affect them I’m. And why…

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The moment you realize you have not posted on your blog for upwards of 11 days and you don’t know what you have been doing with your life. I post on this blog because I love it but also because I “have to do it” or else I don’t feel like myself. Lately I have been trying to figure out why I don’t feel like myself Lol I can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner and as I write this post I am immediately feeling better. I have this quote hanging in my office and Megan always keeps reminding me to do the things that feed your soul. I guess I was so used to doing 365 days and it became such a routine in my life that I could never get to this point of feeling not bad about myself but just a little more stressed and anxiety ridden.…

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This morning accessible transit picked me up or was supposed to at 6:30 which is actually a reasonable time compared to what I had had earlier this week. So what happens when I find myself leisurely getting out of bed at 6:03… Nothing I got ready and was at least ready by 620 oh that was left was to feed the cats and grab my things as I am doing that I check the time thinking I’d see 625 no I saw 6:33 AM. My excess a bowl transit service only wait five minutes past your scheduled pick up time so I wasn’t late but I ran down there. As best I could I mean. Do you find out that of course today of all days they are on time and not running late. Here comes the task of trying to find an accessible vehicle to take me to work…

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You know that moment on a hot day when you decide to go somewhere anywhere and the Jets a Frappuccino, and iced coffee, and ice cream cone something to cool you down. That was me today and I confidently put my Starbucks refresher in my cupholder and sped off into the parking lot only to spill the entire during on the ground and or my foot plate not having had taken a single step out of it. I know first world problems. But I really got to me. Like I can’t even carry my own drink. Like what is my life coming to. Then I call someone expecting maybe a little bit of sympathy and only getting, were you driving too fast. Like not the point. If you’ve been there you know the feeling. #MyCPLife #NightmaresFromTheChair

This post will be very different from anything I have posted on my blog and or my site ever before and could be triggeringIf you have ever dealt with an eating disorder of any kind. Earlier this week I went to my pain specialist, I have a muscle condition, and use a wheelchair, as well as mental health issues. I was talking to the nurse in front of the scale he was asking me if I added anything to my chair or if he could just use the weight he had on file for the chair. They weigh the wheelchair separately once and then they subtract to get your actual weight. I was nervous because I never actually weighed myself and since recovery I have gained weight I’m probably way more than I ever have. I’m trying to be OK with that. When my doctor came in and said, Doctor:…

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OK so dramatic title aside this actually happened. I should also take a moment to say I am sorry I am not posting daily like I thought I was going to but bad things don’t happen every day and such is life. Which is a nice segue into my nightmare for today. I went out during lunch to check the bus stops for stop numbers to plan my route home. I took the smart drive on the bus for the first time from work (I always don’t when I’m taking a new route that will be going to and from my work I always start with mastering the trip home first because I am less stressed on the way home then on the way to work) The good thing is I found the stops. The nightmare, the stop I will use to go home is across a very large crosswalk…

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I got my replacement smart drive and tested out today. It works great and I can only imagine the adventures I’m going to have with it. As of right now I am still taking accessible transportation for the rest of the month just because of when did the smart drive came in. It also gives me some time to get used to this new tool and really get comfortable with how it works. It turns out route this is getting used to phase may start much earlier than I had first anticipated. I confirmed pick up Times to and from work for tomorrow To find my leaving time later than I would have expected. I then thought “well, it’s not an issue I have the smoke drive.” Which was swiftly followed by, but you really haven’t used it yet, what if something happens and, you don’t really know that route.…

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10/28
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