The F Word: Future Plans Looking Forward to a More Balanced Life
As a person who is different I have always found I have faced more and or different barriers than others. I have compensated doing what I can do very well. I have always felt the need to go above and beyond to prove myself and to break down barriers in stigmas. I still feel this way but I now realize making life harder on myself For another person’s benefit is not something I necessarily have to do. I put that pressure on myself. And the people who want to be around me and like me for me shouldn’t be putting that pressure on me. Just seems like common sense now that I understand it but it took me forever to wrap my head around and now I have I feel as if life is going to be much different but different for the better. I’ll be living life for me…
The F Word: F Equals Fatigue
I didn’t sleep a wink last night and my head didn’t help. Anyone with anxiety will understand. I ended up waking up a friend of mine and talking to her for probably like an hour and a half. Just trying to make sense of what was going through my head. I am the master of being able to think 12 steps ahead and then not Being able to let it go or go back to step one once I’ve gotten to step 12. So this ends up in me being rather fatigued today. I did absolutely nothing and that’s OK. I coloured in a colouring book and I got my groceries delivered so, in a way, I was adulting. To say I got no sleep would be a lie because I did get some sleep it was just in the morning probably for like six hours now that I think…
Nightmares From The Chair: Coming To Terms
I have always had to be reported that it’s a fact. For many people in my life it was not a big thing. I didn’t even consider it a thing until I entered my early 20s and started ageing with a disability. All of a sudden, fatigue became real and the ability to get around became more difficult. I’m now at a point in my life in which I would say I am my most authentic the best version of myself and really loving my life my movement is much different I can’t feel my thighs I can’t feel parts of my feet quite honestly the only thing I can feel with certainty is pain. I do not want sympathy I am not writing this blog series for that. I am simply being honest. And it sucks, especially now when it’s gloomy outside and your work computer is messing up…
365 Days, Living In The Moment: Day 283
I feel like this quotereally sums up today and is especially poignant now. as I embark on a new chapter I am both nervous and excited – equal parts of each. As I try and shake off the anchor that has been weighing me down for many years. It says exactly this. I know no different and can walk into a room with confidence and tell you different. Whether you choose to listen to me is your decision. I love myself either way. This may sound a narcissistic but I’m telling you it’s not, this is me finally coming out of the shadows and allowing myself to shine regardless of challenge, circumstance, or anything in between. I know I deserve more than subpar and I know I deserve more than subpar respect. Why? Because I am a human just like you and because if you have asked to speak to…
365 Days, Living In The Moment: Day 257
There are definitely days where living in the moment is a choice and letting things roll off your back is a task and a half. I want to acknowledge that. Today was one of those days. Not in the majority actually but when it came to accessibility. I could take this blog post in many different ways but for the sake of time and education I am going to say, accessibility is not just physical, it is as much to do with attitudes and assumptions being barriers as it is weather for stairs. Something to keep in mind when you next encounter a person with a disability. That said, the right attitude can get you through almost any situation this is true both in life and in terms of accessibility and living with a disability as part of your daily existence. If you have one or two good people in…
365 Days, Living In The Moment: Day 242
I haven’t been feeling great all weekend and for me, what comes with not feeling great and sometimes – dark thoughts. I saw this on Facebook today end it made me feel a little bit better. That and fuzzy slippers. (Check Instagram for my fuzzy slipper update) in the meantime: If you needed a reminder let me be the first to tell you. You are important. you matter. You are wonderful.
365 Days, Living In The Moment: Day 197
There are some days where, For whatever reason you get up and do you know and that it is going to be a good day today. On the flipside there are other days where you know that something bad is going to happen. This was neither of those days. This was one of those days that memories are made of. That sounds corny, I know. But the more I have these days, The more I want to acknowledge them. The days where I just feel like a normal person. Regardless of what went on in my day, Weather I’m having a good day or not medically, regardless of the chair. My people make me feel normal, my people being, my tribe, the people who I choose to surround myself with. Not those who I have to be around. Like I said yesterday, I feel like the choosing makes all the…
365 Days, Living In The Moment: Day 181
I spent most of today lazing around watching YouTube videos and making a list of things that I will get eventually. Though I didn’t do send me adult thing this morning like laundry and paying bills I can say for the most part this weekend I’ve pretty much acted exactly like 14-year-old me. Little 14-year-old male was pretty cool, I feel like it’s time to grow up, again. Not to say I will never again leave the room watching YouTube videos, on the contrary I will probably be doing that for most of my evenings this week and at least 2 to 3 days next week what I am going to try and stop doing is creating a victim mentality for myself to Waaloa in. I know it’s a good thing to recognize emotions but there is a difference between recognizing and emotion and letting it take you over for…
