I am ready for bed and all I did today was work and get groceries delivered. #LivingMyCPLife
Adult thing is hard Period. And when you have a disability adult thing is even harder. Not because of the physical nature of it but because of having to coordinate everything. I don’t know that people quite understand just how much goes into every day of a life as a person with a disability Weather you have Help or not. There is always a schedule to follow. Whether it’s someone else’s or just your own list of to do’s.
When people see us at work I think they think we got out of bed got dressed and came in but do they know what goes into that. The staff you have to schedule or the time and you have to do a lot. Not only to get out of the house but then to get to San job. Then once you get home you have to do normal house cleanup, dinner, maybe run some errands. But what does that entail, maybe scheduling a cleaning lady maybe bulk meal prepping or having someone cook for you and directing them on how to do so as well as thinking about transportation to and from your errands not to mention the energy the errands take up.
So when I say I’ve had a long day and you tell me I know the feeling no that though you may be able to sympathize with me on a very surface level you will never actually no what it’s like to live my day until you are in my position. This post in these words do not come from a negative place at all.
Merrily, a place of wanting to educate and make clear all the challenges people face on a daily basis that although by themselves may not be challenging to gather create a very taxing day. know the tiredness we feel is true and runs deep and like you can’t quite understand what it’s like to live my day I know I will never be able to understand what it’s like to live yours.
So yes I had a really bad day yesterday. Yesterday is the past and the one thing I can say about the past is it gives me 20/20 hindsight. The one awesome thing about yesterday was that I found the best most grounding song yet. “Something wild”By Lindsey Stirling. It is my new anthem and wouldn’t you know it, everything is starting to work itself out, Now I have a plan up my sleeve and I know it’s going to happen in it’s own time and I am going to end up exactly where I need to be
It is with that faith and knowing that I say with certainty it gets better.
I’ve been keeping a secret And now I can finally say, with certainty, I am getting a SmartDrive! I’m face is going to change my life. What is a smart drive? This is a power assist wheel which goes on the back of my manual chair and makes my manual chair a power chair with a smart watch and a few taps on the push rim. There is a lot more to it but that’s the easiest way I can explain it right now since I am really tired, and heard about was an interesting day to say the least. Once I actually get it I will do a more in-depth post and possibly a video. Hopefully, I will have it in the next two weeks or so.
of the rest of my day, oh well what’s the first day. I am completely new and completely overwhelmed and completely second-guessing my decision. Thank you anxiety. After getting home thinking about it, and honestly having a good cry. I know it gets better. I have also dissolved to refrain from passing judgement on myself and or the position for at least the first week. People are nice. The company is great. I just need to get comfortable with things.
Good point of today, I was able to with new people in a public cafeteria (or bistro) and I care very little what I looked like doing it. Milestone moment. Now, to actually be able to find my desk,
I saw this on Facebook and though it may seem superficial I feel like it says a lot. It’s so true, at least in my experience, and works not only with friends and best friends but relationships as well. Do you maybe asking yourself, did I repost this? Truthfully, I did not. That said, I know there are certain people who will always be there for me.It doesn’t matter if I speak to them often or twice a year. Some friends will always be there for you while others are meant to teach you something.
The people in your life are there for a reason only we know what that reason is and can figure out reasoning for ourselves. Just like no two people are the same The true reasons as to why we need to have a specific person in our life won’t always make themselves clear until we are ready to except it though truths.
In the end, don’t take people for granted, And be the best person you can be no one can ask more of you.
Today I learned a few lessons, one, always try on tailored clothing before you leave the tailor, Even if your mom is waiting. It will cost you a lot less stress, money and time. I also learned, good things come to those who wait and whether you are hesitant to jump into something, just do it you’ll thank me later. And number three ice cream, french fries, and a good friend can solve any problem
Today could have turned out horribly. But it didn’t. I took the bus by myself with my walker for the first time in a very long time and I’m not dead. It took a lot out of me which I was expecting. That said, it didn’t take as much from me as I thought it would. I was able to see someone I haven’t in a very long time and I found out I might be able to do something that I had previously put out of my head -like not possible at all.
I saw this on Facebook and it instantly spoke to me. I don’t think I’ve posted this quotebefore I know I’ve posted many along the same vein.
simple yet powerful. I really hope this blog and to a lesser extent my YouTube channel (that I will get back to) I am actually thinking of making a video for the last post of this year. Is the place where you feel like you can be who you want to be and I try at least to create videos and posts that I would have liked to have seen or read when I was a teenager and things like this we’re not around. Yes I am that old. Even more to the point, in actual real life, be the person you wish your younger self would have been able to be around.
Since I have started to Be myself the world has opened up to me. And it sounds corny but it really has. I have found out who my true friends are I can say with certainty I know who I am. My life is not lived for others anymore, it is a live it first and foremost for myself the things I do make me happy and that is something I could not have said a year ago. The quote rings true, be who you needed when you were younger.
Well this is truly how I felt today
I didn’t want to start the day and once I did it didn’t get better until the very end. I had yet another Panic attack that I’m remedied with a meditation session and a huge plate of poutine [french fries covered with gravy and cheese curds) it sounds gross but it is the most wonderful thing. Yes I realize I was drowning my issues in food. I feel like that’s OK at this moment. After a long nap and. Chatting with a friend I haven’t seen in a while and will see you tomorrow I feel much better. A long soak in the tub never hurt anyone either. I also found myself doing some retail therapy and is this I hope he ends up being something not only good for myself but it’s essential in my life. I ended up buying a water bottle with a large crystal inside it. Whether it actually works or not is yet to be seen but caring around chords can’t be a bad thing especially if it helps with pain. So does the good outweighed the bad yes today it did. Will tomorrow be better no one can know for sure. What are you do you know is there will be some good in tomorrow just like there is something good in every day and focussing on that allows me to be OK with the bad things because most often The good even if it’s few and far between will make up for the bed.
Impulse buy alert. I saw this necklace and new it was so me I had to have it. I don’t usually do that with jewellery especially Julie read it does cost money but I have another necklace from this brand and I absolutely love it. As much for the necklace as the sentiment behind it.
I’ll take a picture and make sure to show it to you when I get it. It just felt right and when something feels right you should do it. At least in my book.
I saw this on Facebook and knew it had to be today’s post.
it’s hard but it makes you feel so much better.