I love my job and I think I’m getting better at it being that I am fairly new. My job takes a lot of attention to detail which is something that I love and have. Many people may beg to differ but that’s just their opinion, others would agree with me. That’s just how the world turns.
So last week I was working on something and totally saw three of the same thing meaning I could copy and paste my work once I finished it for the first one. Well, today I found that not to be true, what I thought was three of the same thing was actually three different things meaning I had to do the work all over again. Which I’m not mad about what I was more frustrated at was the fact my eyes let me down. I know I can’t help it and it’s part of my CP, but not everybody knows that and I feel like they judge me for it. I could tell them but I don’t want everybody to know meanwhile I also don’t want to be thought of as I have a “liability”or like I am making up excuses for mistakes. Total nightmare. At least there’s always tomorrow.
I saw this today on Facebook and although I’m sure it supposed to be funny I think it’s also profound in the way that it points out so bluntly what society wants you to be and what everybody fights against but at the same time as everyone is fighting against it it becomes the norm.￼
Anyone knows me would tell you I am an almost overly organized person. I admit that and I like it, granted, my form of organization may not suit everyone. It may be organized chaos but I know where everything is. My problem seems to live inside drawers or cupboards inside anything really. That said, I can tell you exactly but something looks like exactly where to find it and what items are around it. Why? When you have help like I do you need to know where all your stuff is at all times.
I give this bit of backstory so you can understand where I’m coming from when I tell you about this next situation. I get cleaning done once a week for my entire apartment. Recently, I have been trying to my cleaning game because I realize how much messier life is on wheels. Normally my room yet general cleaning and a quick dusting but today I asked it be”Deep cleaned” and I love it right now. I didn’t realize how much the state of my room was actually contributing to my mental health and mental clutteredness now that I do though I am going to make sure that this stays this way.
I should also mention, I spend a majority of my time in my room when I am not working because of the hours that I like. So keeping this room livable and clean to my standards takes presidents over a few other rooms at my place.
Though I am happy now doesn’t mean I didn’t have hesitations leaving the list I did this morning for my housekeeping person. I even asked if it was too much but apparently it wasn’t which is good to know. I can’t express how much I appreciate having a space that is all my own that people have to ask permission to come into where I am in charge and independent. I think that gets lost in a lot of day-to-day activities. A lot of times we do things a certain way because we know we need to get them done and I am glad hear everything was that I asked away I approve of.
So I have turned into that girl, that girl who had ice cream for dinner while chatting with a friend about Life talking about weight gain and not giving a shit. Until of course my spoon breaks. And yes that did happen to me. It almost scratched my face actually. I don’t know what that says about me, if my face was too close to the pint where the spoon was so flimsy (being plastic)That it shut up I would’ve nowhere and created an issue with it shouldn’t have been one.
WWMD, she would be so proud of me right now. So many changes have happened in my life recently and I’m just rolling with it. Both figuratively and literally. With the help of Ben & Jerry’s (and other ice cream brand as well, I don’t discriminate) and some good friends, I couldn’t be happier right now.
It is no secret that I take accessible transportation to work for now. When my smoke Dr. gets here I won’t have to but for now I do. Today the assigned pick up time was 6:04 AM I had to get up at 4:45 AM and found myself at work by 620 needless to say when I got home around four I was exhausted and still am.
I think it is apparent hell ridiculous some of these pick up times are and yet I understand why they have to be that early you but there should be a limit as to how early they can be for a specific requested drop off time. No Falls today though so that’s a good thing. I can’t wait for my smart Dr. to be here and working so I don’t have to be so reliant on other people and their schedules and can actually live my life on my time. What a revolutionary thought.
As for right now though I think it best for me to deal with what I am given knowing it will only be for the short term and be grateful that I even have the option because many people don’t. Oh and my morning pick up tomorrow is 623 so I may actually be able to sleep until 530. Yay me
OK, so let me adjust the title if you think this is going to be a nasty post, well I guess it could be but it’s not. So you can get that out of your mind right now.
This is equally as terrifying that when my opinion. I was in the excessive most of all when somehow I tripped or something during my transfer and I fell on the floor and hit my entire right side. I didn’t hurt that much and I went on with my day. The only casualty was my nail!
What I find both hilarious and sad is of course when I am not in need of help people are opening doors for trying to help me and then in this moment even after I cursed a couple of times no one asked me if I was OK or knocked on the door seeing if I needed any help. It’s just one of those things. I’m not mad it’s more frustrating than anything.
I have always had to be reported that it’s a fact. For many people in my life it was not a big thing. I didn’t even consider it a thing until I entered my early 20s and started ageing with a disability. All of a sudden, fatigue became real and the ability to get around became more difficult. I’m now at a point in my life in which I would say I am my most authentic the best version of myself and really loving my life my movement is much different I can’t feel my thighs I can’t feel parts of my feet quite honestly the only thing I can feel with certainty is pain. I do not want sympathy I am not writing this blog series for that. I am simply being honest. And it sucks, especially now when it’s gloomy outside and your work computer is messing up and that makes it look like you are messing up, and you can’t tell when or if a miracle is going to happen so you silently crying in your office while trying to hold it together enough to make it seem like you’re OK.
Then you find out that someone turned off the automatic door opening function of the bathroom door because they didn’t like the noise so you have to get maintenance to turn it back on and you spend all day skipping your lunch and any breaks you might have had it working so that you can keep up with your peers and hopefully not get fired or earned a reputation as the slow person. I know it’s just a bad day and tomorrow will be different, I know that people can have their own things going on but sometimes it just feels like pressure.
Pressure is always in a week but how? I need to have a job, I’d like to keep working where I’m working, I can’t tell if I am a burden or just a training or if I’m becoming part of the wallpaper which is of course what I would like the most.
And then sometimes all you want is a hug
I really hesitated over talking about this. I know. You can’t please everyone go so because this is my blog and my nightmare I am going to share.
This is something that has been happening consistently over the last month or so. And accessible washroom each live in the building, so four in total and a few hundred people in the building at a time. I expect there to be a line for the washroom. I am not against that. When I have to go back-and-forth to the washroom two or three times just to get into it when I know I am one of the two wheelchair users in the entire building and the other one is male,That can get annoying real quick.
I know it is important for me and I am no means am I wanting to pass judgement on everyone, however, my brain go to a place where I feel like ‘ if you are not pregnant, visibly ill, or me, you should not be using said stall. “At the same time I know I’m not in the washroom all the time every day so it’s not like people would not work. I don’t wanna make a big deal out of it, at the same time, when I have to pee, I have to pee. Sometimes it’s urgent. #WheelchairProblems.
More than actually knew things were what it is meant for you, and I get it people have to go and that’s the open one. I really like when people use the accessible stuff to change. Only because, we have a changing room. Yet specific people wants to use Z still as their personal dressing room at 7:30 in the morning when is seemingly at 7:30 in the morning I always end up waiting. I am mine and I don’t have to be. I know recently thinking WWMD?? Why don’t we think would happen, confront them, which I am not necessarily a fan of at this point because I don’t really know people yet. Saying nothing, what I am currently doing and the problem continues. Or, talk to a manager/supervisor and let them take care of it. I’m not a fan of this, because I don’t want to appear needy and I feel like as grown people we shouldn’t need it other people telling us how to conduct ourselves in “normal society”. I will also say, a good 40 to 50% of the time when I go into the washroom the stall is empty. Maybe this is just how it is at that company. If so, I can deal with this. I just want people to have some common sense.
You would think after getting beat up by the Garmin took yesterday I would be careful around things like that. Well today I needed to grab something from my storage room which is cordoned off from another room using a curtain. Guess what fell on my head – yup not only did the curtain fall, but the tension rod holding it up fell as well. Now that hurt.
I thought I may have had another concussion but no I think it’s just a goose egg. I don’t know what’s worse the factI am used to this or that it keeps happening. I need to watch out, at the same time I’m just me living life, and it just happens. I can’t wrap myself in bubble wrap, although knowing me a trip over it and end up on the floor. Now that would be funny. I should say, I make myself laugh, with some of the things that I do, because, God I wonder how I get myself into these situations half the time.
Please don’t feel bad laughing with me, if this brings a smile to your face I have accomplished my goal.
Just a note: none of the situations I mention on this blog are fake.
First off, let’s define garment hook up. I didn’t know what that was called until I was looking for one, So let’s just get on the same page that week. Garmin took in Mindy’s world: “The clothing hook used in stores to assist someone in getting down a piece of clothing that is out of reach. Not to be confused with a reacher which often looks like a garbage picker.”
I bought one of these a few weeks ago for my closet because I knew I was going to put up a second clothing rod creating additional storage. My closet is it is shorter so that those on wheels don’t have to struggled to reach their clothing. This is awesome, but, doesn’t allow for it the maximum use of space in the closet.My solution, a second clothing rod. The clothing rod and clothes went up without an issue, yesterday. Today I wanted to re-organize it, make it work for me. Basement, taking down a lot of the clothing and rearranging a few things. Simple enough. Until you meet me. I wanted to rearrange the closet so I knew where everything was. I also knew this would give me a chance to practice with the garment hook. Practising with a clothing hook might seem strange but for me it’s necessary. I would even argue, there is a technique to using this kind of hook so I had to figure out my way of doing it.In the process of working out where all the clothing should go I had the hook which is on a very long pole in my hand when I spasmed went backwards and sideways and somehow ended up being hit by the garment hook right on the edge of my nose. For those who may be asking, yes it did hurt and yes it still does hurt.
After I recovered, any normal person would put away said item that just attacked them and or decide to save the rest of the project for another day. Not me. I continued. [So stupid. My nose still hurts.] I did get the technique down though. And I would recommend a garment hook to those who may be struggling with reaching items whether they are clothing related or something else completely I’m sure there are many ways to use it as a tool I just haven’t found all of them out yet.