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The moment you realize you have not posted on your blog for upwards of 11 days and you don’t know what you have been doing with your life. I post on this blog because I love it but also because I “have to do it” or else I don’t feel like myself. Lately I have been trying to figure out why I don’t feel like myself Lol I can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner and as I write this post I am immediately feeling better. I have this quote hanging in my office and Megan always keeps reminding me to do the things that feed your soul. I guess I was so used to doing 365 days and it became such a routine in my life that I could never get to this point of feeling not bad about myself but just a little more stressed and anxiety ridden.…

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This morning accessible transit picked me up or was supposed to at 6:30 which is actually a reasonable time compared to what I had had earlier this week. So what happens when I find myself leisurely getting out of bed at 6:03… Nothing I got ready and was at least ready by 620 oh that was left was to feed the cats and grab my things as I am doing that I check the time thinking I’d see 625 no I saw 6:33 AM. My excess a bowl transit service only wait five minutes past your scheduled pick up time so I wasn’t late but I ran down there. As best I could I mean. Do you find out that of course today of all days they are on time and not running late. Here comes the task of trying to find an accessible vehicle to take me to work…

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You know that moment on a hot day when you decide to go somewhere anywhere and the Jets a Frappuccino, and iced coffee, and ice cream cone something to cool you down. That was me today and I confidently put my Starbucks refresher in my cupholder and sped off into the parking lot only to spill the entire during on the ground and or my foot plate not having had taken a single step out of it. I know first world problems. But I really got to me. Like I can’t even carry my own drink. Like what is my life coming to. Then I call someone expecting maybe a little bit of sympathy and only getting, were you driving too fast. Like not the point. If you’ve been there you know the feeling. #MyCPLife #NightmaresFromTheChair

This post will be very different from anything I have posted on my blog and or my site ever before and could be triggeringIf you have ever dealt with an eating disorder of any kind. Earlier this week I went to my pain specialist, I have a muscle condition, and use a wheelchair, as well as mental health issues. I was talking to the nurse in front of the scale he was asking me if I added anything to my chair or if he could just use the weight he had on file for the chair. They weigh the wheelchair separately once and then they subtract to get your actual weight. I was nervous because I never actually weighed myself and since recovery I have gained weight I’m probably way more than I ever have. I’m trying to be OK with that. When my doctor came in and said, Doctor:…

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I have been looking forward to today (Friday) probably since Tuesday. I need this weekend to Just do some things from itself. Be creative, do you my own thing in my own way you know just relax. Imagine my surprise when I got accessible transit times that were actually good. Hindsight being 2020 the pick up time is my have been good but I still spent an hour and 15 minutes just trying to get to my first destination. I know I should be grateful for what I have and I am. But sometimes a girl just wants to get home on Friday. I think anyone and everyone can understand that. I even think my parents restrain to get a little annoyed because we have things to do. It was just having to deal with a long ride that would be one thing -people then start talking to you and…

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OK so dramatic title aside this actually happened. I should also take a moment to say I am sorry I am not posting daily like I thought I was going to but bad things don’t happen every day and such is life. Which is a nice segue into my nightmare for today. I went out during lunch to check the bus stops for stop numbers to plan my route home. I took the smart drive on the bus for the first time from work (I always don’t when I’m taking a new route that will be going to and from my work I always start with mastering the trip home first because I am less stressed on the way home then on the way to work) The good thing is I found the stops. The nightmare, the stop I will use to go home is across a very large crosswalk…

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It was gloomy today and it looks to be that way for the rest of the week. Gloomy days always affect me for some reason I don’t want to do anything and I just can’t really sad and sometimes depressed so it was no surprise when I woke up this morning at 5 o’clock because thank you body clock. I couldn’t stop my mind from racing through everything I needed to do but at the same time I couldn’t keep track of what I needed to do. But then only wanted to do was sleep. So I literally said to myself WWMD I got my notebook and started making a list. And once everything was down on paper even though the list was a long-ish ( note, to all those who might try this technique: start with something super easy that you have already done or are about to do…

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I got my replacement smart drive and tested out today. It works great and I can only imagine the adventures I’m going to have with it. As of right now I am still taking accessible transportation for the rest of the month just because of when did the smart drive came in. It also gives me some time to get used to this new tool and really get comfortable with how it works. It turns out route this is getting used to phase may start much earlier than I had first anticipated. I confirmed pick up Times to and from work for tomorrow To find my leaving time later than I would have expected. I then thought “well, it’s not an issue I have the smoke drive.” Which was swiftly followed by, but you really haven’t used it yet, what if something happens and, you don’t really know that route.…

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I know myself as a person. I also know myself and my ability to work with and control my own mobility equipment. Walker, wheelchair, crutches, even walking on my own. Yes I still do that. Within all of those things I know what I can do and what I cannot do I also know what happens when you in someway disturb the way I am doing something. In some situations it will turn out badly. Just because it looks like I do not have control does not mean that is the case. Case in point, when I am going down a steep ramp I will be going fast and that is the law of physics. I have gone down that ramp several hundred times in my life so I know where to stop in order to stop before I hit anything and or when I need to add speed in…

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I love my job and I think I’m getting better at it being that I am fairly new. My job takes a lot of attention to detail which is something that I love and have. Many people may beg to differ but that’s just their opinion, others would agree with me. That’s just how the world turns. So last week I was working on something and totally saw three of the same thing meaning I could copy and paste my work once I finished it for the first one. Well, today I found that not to be true, what I thought was three of the same thing was actually three different things meaning I had to do the work all over again. Which I’m not mad about what I was more frustrated at was the fact my eyes let me down. I know I can’t help it and it’s part…

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