Nightmares From The Chair

Nightmares From The Chair: When Help is Not Wanted But Given Anyway…

I know myself as a person. I also know myself and my ability to work with and control my own mobility equipment. Walker, wheelchair, crutches, even walking on my own. Yes I still do that. Within all of those things I know what I can do and what I cannot do I also know what happens when you in someway disturb the way I am doing something. In some situations it will turn out badly. Just because it looks like I do not have control does not mean that is the case.

Case in point, when I am going down a steep ramp I will be going fast and that is the law of physics. I have gone down that ramp several hundred times in my life so I know where to stop in order to stop before I hit anything and or when I need to add speed in order to keep the moment I’m going so I can push myself up the ramp of an accessible van, Bus, or Taxi Taxi. Not everyone knows this and I don’t expect them to. However, if I tell you not to help me because I am going to let momentum “help me” please don’t try and get behind my chair flipping up the fold down push handles. That motion can knock me off balance just enough to cause me to crash and in the instance that that happens and I miss the ramp. Do you know what then say see you missed the ramp, and go off on me about my driving ability because all that happened was a human intervened when does the law of physics was being used to push an object forward and we all know that when that happens the object can miss it’s target.

To add insult to stupidity do not do this before seven in the morning and expect a person to just let you do this without some kind of discussion during or afterwards. You have poked the bear now you have to deal with the consequences. Moral of the story, if you go to help and or preferably ask to help someone and they say no or no thank you or make it clear that they do not need your help when you make a motion to give help. Don’t. They may be doing something they have either practised for years or they have trained their body to do and by you interrupting the process you are impinging on that persons ability to maneuver their life, you could also cause damage or harm. So ask first and if the answer is no be OK with that.

I am so OK with no I think it’s weird some people. If we had plans and you had to cancel for some reason I’m fine with that I can find something else to do. If I ask you to come somewhere and you can’t that’s fine I am not offended. I have learned on my life that the people who want to be and those who don’t or won’t, won’t and that’s OK because I believe life brings you people for a reason so if you are not in my life there’s no reason for you to be.

When I was a kid and freaked out because half the class didn’t want to come to my birthday party my mom said the half that want to come and will be there want to be there and those are the people you want around you.