In among the self-care days I have been taking lately I have also been trying to organize my life. Newsflash your life is never fully organized. I only just realized that and then I thought well that makes sense because life is meant to be lived in the moment and not organized to death. That said, today I took some time to clean and organize countertops that I felt got out of control and put up some hooks in my storage room. Those two things although small gave me a sense of accomplishment, like, I actually did something today.But sometimes that’s all you need to feel good about yourself.
After a fun filled day yesterday today was spent recovering because well, I fell again, I’m used to it by now what I’m not used to is how when I was younger I was able to spring back a lot quicker and easier now though it takes me a bit. That said, I’m glad I have the time right now to recover. To take time for myself centre and ground. Because all too soon I’ll be going back to “normal life” And I will be so busy that the ability to ground it will be a thing of the past. Even though I know I should make time for it and I will try my hardest to.
My point being sometimes a girl needs a day hanging out in her pyjamas with her cat eating take-out Mexican food and watching YouTube. Sometimes that’s food for the soul and sometimes we need to make time for that.
Adulting, yes that’s the thing. But it’s OK to not adults sometimes, it’s OK to let your child side show. In fact being yourself is often the way the best opportunities will come to you. That I can say for sure and I can say with confidence since I have also experienced it. Believe me I don’t but at least try forthree days and see what happens.
Some days you remember because of the specific thing you did, some days you remember because of the feeling, and some tees stick in your memory because you realize you changed in that day. That was today for me. I didn’t do anything particularly out of the ordinary but at the same time I had so much fun being normal.
The most empowering part for me and what I’m going to focus on today is that I go out to experience the feeling of truly being in control of my chair.I have always been in most ways but believe it or not often I don’t take a part nor put back together my own chair. That said, today I did, i’ve always known how but for whatever reason others have done it for me or it hasn’t had to be done so I don’t get the chance to practice it not today though I can say I Took it apart and put it back together no less than four times and through that process I learned a few things. One, when I drive I will definitely use the passenger seat for my chair it’s so much easier. Two, I can’t put together my chair standing up I need to do it sitting down to get that leverage right. And three, my instinct to turn and move the chair in order to make it easier for myself is so right and I shouldn’t let other people try and tell me otherwise.
So sometimes you got to get out there and do things dash in the world it breathe new life into you according to a friend of mine and I tend to agree.
I have been so tired today I really can’t explain it. So I’m taking it as a signal to take it easy tonight and for the rest of the weekend and hopefully my body will find more energy. I’m going out tomorrow to see a friend and my family but will be home by 10 and hopefully asleep by 11 and then my plan is to sleep for the rest of the weekend.
I didn’t do anything particularly exhausting today yet I am exhausted isn’t it interesting how our system has that ability to slow us down and two hype us up when we need it.
Anyway my bed is calling my name
when I saw this, this afternoon I knew I had to post about it. This really struck a chord with me because it seems like people I have an engrained timeline for life. When people go against that, others may find it strange or hard to accept and as someone who may move through life slower than others but definitely I would venture to say often with more intention then some I have experience some of the judgement that comes with telling people that you Took however many years to complete a degree which I have always had to follow up with the reasons why it took me that long but should I have to? No. It doesn’t make my degree any less valid or less of an accomplishment if anything it becomes more of one. And that’s not the only thing I’ve experienced but for sake of keeping this post short it’s the only one I’ll talk about right now.
My point is, take your time. Because it’s your time. No one else’s. You live your life and do the things you want to. Because at the end of your life only you are looking back at it with regrets so try your best not to have those. And when you do accomplish something no matter what it is or what age you are when you do it I encourage you to think I’m a boss. I deserve any accolades that come my way because of this. And even if it wasn’t the best experience you can say to yourself I lived in the past, but I create my future, and I accomplish in the now. I am the boss.
I saw this today and needed to share. Today was a good day. Even though I may have started out wanting it to be over I have been so stressed over the past few days I’m taking tomorrow to just be. To balance myself, centre everything and ground.
It has only been in the past few months that I have actually started to like me. And that is hard to say, you would think liking yourself would come naturally, but for me it have something I have always struggled with along with self acceptance were the names and everything else like that. The big emotions and I we don’t get along very well. But that’s OK because I like who I am anyway.
If anything what today has brought home for me – sometimes good things come out of nowhere and you just have to except them for what they are and how they will help you and think to yourself, “Well, I live a pretty nice life”
So yes my life may be different than mini I may have to deal with more, but when I really need it Life somehow has a way of reminding me how lucky I am and how everything works out with a little faith trust, pixie dust And the ability to let it be.
I feel like I just might be on the edge of something big, maybe even life changing but I can’t say or do anything until I know what’s going to happen. Not being in full control at this point kills me. I feel like it’s a good experience and exercise though because Lord knows I have to get better at letting go. Hence living in the moment, hence what this entire year but supposed to be for me. I don’t know if this is quite turned out the way I expected. But then again what in life ever does.
I am definitely a different person than I was starting this blog, I am happier life is easier and the world doesn’t seem so scary. That doesn’t mean anything has really changed. Life struggles are still the same I can’t say I’m necessarily in a better position than I was this time last year. What I can say, is my mindset and outlook have changed. And that is something I am proud of. Though I may not be someone who can fully live in the moment I am definitely getting better, I had it when it happens. I can show my true personality to people and they get to know the real me. That in itself is freeing. So if living in the moment for the last 328 days only leaves me with that I have succeeded. I definitely could not have predicted that I would be here now. Not at all.
So what did I do living in the moment today, I tried a new Mountain Dew which I find I like them. I switched my winter blankets for my spring ones because I have turned it to forest of a will for the weather to change over because I will no longer live with White stuff on the ground and well I don’t really care what anybody else thinks. 🙂
It’s interesting when you find your hobby because often it doesn’t start out like a hobby at least for me it was just an app that I downloaded thinking that I would colour once in a while. This colour by number app, and yes it is colour by number. Yes I am 28. Yes I still seem to love it because it allows me to zone out. And I can truthfully say in app that allows me to zone out but still allows me to create something is something I have not found in a very long time.
In that respect I do not think that it is a waste of time or money, I did pay like six dollars so that the ends wouldn’t bug me. Right now though I think it’s OK because I know that my life is kind of stressful at the moment and I like that I have something I can do that takes my mind off of some of the things that can really stressed me out to the point that I may break down or have other issues.
So I know that some people may say apps and games on phones are a waste of time or something that is rather extraneous but I think for me and my mental health a few games, not a huge amount or necessary in order for me to get through certain parts of life. This may be different for other people and I totally see and respect that difference. But living in my moment I feel that this game or activity as it where has become a necessary and positive part of my mental health and therefore my recovery and growth as the person that I am.
Today was a good day. I can say a lot of things have contributed to it, one of which is good friends, and self care. I love these kind of days I love. I remember a time not so long ago when nothing like today ever really existed. Never take your days for granted- live them well and live them fully.