365 Days, Living In The Moment: Day 362

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The last few days have been pretty tough for me so when I saw this I knew I had to post it because my first reaction was I couldn’t have said it better myself. I needed to see this and I’m sure others will benefit as well.

365 Days, Living In The Moment: Day 361

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Well that was fun. I got a new phone yesterday the iPhone XR in red And since I have gotten at home there has been a problem with every second app I have used or had to open. So I spent the last hour and a half trying to get my posting app to connect to my site so that you can read this post. And guess what, well I must’ve made it work right because you’re reading the post. I had to do last nights post on the computer and well let’s just say it was not a scene with as it normally is.

Other than that, today I touched up my hair and sobbed. But it was a good cry the kind that is cleansing the kind that you need to have once in a while. The kind that drained you emotionally and then makes you want pints of ice cream. Yes that kind of cry. I’m not sad about anything in particular I’m just crying because I’ve had a lot of things going on lately. This is the first time I have been so comfortable with crying and then I let myself silently ball while writing something in the salon and I didn’t care you saw me. I’m sure they thought it was a nut but we all are sometimes.

My hair looks better than ever now though, I daresay better than the first time I had it done. Or it could be, with my hair touched up I always feel like a new person. It is for that reason I will always advocate for self-care of any kind it doesn’t matter what makes you feel like your self or grounds you. What matters is that you find time and or take time to do that thing or have those moments. It may seem indulgent at first but if it brings you back to yourself and makes you you. (I’m not endorsing drugs alcohol or unhealthy addictions) Of which I know shopping is one but the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem right. I didn’t say I was perfect LOL

I’ve just been spending time in bed today with my thoughts, my cats, and Netflix and it has been awesome. Take the time because you know you need the time. Build it into your schedule end it will become routine. I bet you’ll be a happier person for it.

365 Days, Living In The Moment: Day 360

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I can now say this comeToday was a day of mixed emotions but all things considered I think I am leaning towards the positive At least by now I hope I would be. I’ve only spent almost a year blogging aboutThe more or less positive things in my life.

At the same time, work is always interesting and yes they are being supportive for the first time in my life. Yet I couldn’t help feeling like I’m going to lose my job. So It’s always a working progress.

You know a person can’t be happy all the time. A good friend told me recentlyVery few people’s lives are always happy.It’s always a balancing act,You are going to have some awesome things happenWhile at the same time ugly horrible things are going to take place in different areas of life.Learning to embrace that, those moments of pure chaos and overwhelmedIs what we all do. How we’ll cope is different and that’s what makes us, us.

So I may have had a bit of a hard time at work today but I was able to hang out with friendsTonightLaugh and joke all eveningAnd that circumvents the growing pains that come withStarting a new job.And, newsflash, I still have it. People are more than understanding and as much as I love that -I will be happy to start becoming part of the routine rather than the newbie.

Balance seems to be the key for me and scheduling everything in his tricky, but, I understand if I don’t do things a certain order or have a particular routine in place,I am not going to be me.Or, I should say, I would be a lesser version of myself.The one thing I know for sure,I don’t want to hide anymore. I don’t want to have to put on a mask for people. And outgoing. I can be funny and still taken seriously. I am worth the time.

365 Days, Living In The Moment: Day 359

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My thoughts exactly. I really like the job I’m doing now and yet going home to my bed is my favourite part of the day. I now know my limits, which I would have never acknowledged before. I would go go go barely ever stopping in. And though I still experience this in certain aspects of my life I have to say I think some of it has gotten better. Knowing my limits allows me to use my time more authentically doing only the things and that I know need to be done or that make me happy and have the greatest impact on my life. So yes I am very excited to go home at the end of the day to see my cat have a snuggle and try to get as much done for the next day as possible. That said, I am starting to realize it’s OK to not get everything done in a single day. Life doesn’t allow that for a reason, maybe we need to learn something about what is really important and how we fit into it. Or maybe I’m just crazy. You choose.

365 Days, Living In The Moment: Day 358

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There is no denying it, today What’s a bad day. I’m still sad. And I know tomorrow will be different but in this moment the only thing that went right today what is the fact that I had 3/2 eaten pints of ice cream in my freezer. I now only have one. The best part of my day was finishing off both mint chip and cookies and cream ice cream. Not all at once. I was bliss.

My legs are still tight but I did manage to get them stretched for a minute or two today and that felt good. And it’s worth it if not only for 15 minutes of looseness. Fellow CP lifers you get me.

The third thing that went well today Dash I was able to get a trip to my tailor to hopefully make me some wraps/capes /ponchos. I have a very large collection of blanket scarves I haven’t been able to wear because taking the time to fold them and fold them properly is beyond my capabilities. That said, having them made in certain styles so I can just slip them on is doable and worth it in my opinion.

Looking at my day this way it wasn’t all bad. Just because I didn’t get as much done today as I did yesterday doesn’t mean tomorrow is a lost cause. It means tomorrow is tomorrow and I will live it then.

365 Days, Living In The Moment: Day 357

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I am going to make a change. I am going to cry more. During my depression and for as many years as I can remember before that. I was and still am a very sensitive person. I could cry at the drop of a hat. Since working through my depression and getting into the appropriate therapies I don’t cry as much. which I thought was a good thing.

Today though I realize it may be good, I don’t cry about every little thing, but, I still need to let myself cry. So I’m giving myself time every week or two to sit with any emotions I may be experiencing and see what comes of it.

I have now realized what everyone what has been telling me for a while. I always knew this and I never thought of crying this way, but people say crying is okay, even needed. And though I would nod along, I don’t know that I truly believed them. Now I can truthfully say I know what it’s like to have a cleansing cry and my aim is to incorporate this into my lifestyle to hopefully stay centred present and in the moment.

365 Days: Living In The Moment: Day 356

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so simple and yet so profound. I think the message here is something we all would do well to remember. I will also say, shining is one thing. Having the courage to shine is another. Knowing that you may have work to do but you are still worth it is something that I as well as I’m sure many people struggle with.This really resonated with me and will be in affirmation I end up printing out and putting on my wall. Because, “You do you do not have to be whole to shine.”

There are so many ways I could take this quotemetaphorically in a mental way as well as physically. We often think of ‘pretty normal people’ at least that is what is portrayed in the media so that is where we are conditioned to think of as beautiful as whole as what we should aspire to as people. When really we are all broken people, some are just less broken than others, and some are just really good at hiding it.

365 Days, Living In The Moment: Day 355

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For the first time in a long time, today I feel like I can breathe. Which is weird because looking at things today I’m not exactly where I want to be. I can say though, now I feel more stable than I ever have employment wise at least. I think I’m starting to realize how much stress employment or unemployment or chronic unemployment really put on me. Not having that is such a relief. At the same time, I know this could all be taken from me in an instant. Until I passed my probation and no that I’m good some of that will always be in the back of my mind. That said, I feel like it just might be to start thinking about the long term.

Not too much though, because I know what happens when I do and I have my anxiety under control right now so I’d rather not causes it to flare up again because of something I can control. I guess when I am trying to say, is that in a weird way I am OK with being in flux and that’s weird it to acknowledge because I remember when I couldn’t do that for the life of me. No it comes so naturally I don’t even realize I’m doing it. In that sense I guess this Challenge/ experiment was a success.

365 Days, Living In The Moment: Day 354

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Well last night I went to bed with a migraine this morning I woke up with a migraine for part of the day it went away but now it’s back. So this is us today.

so you know who the more photo genic one is. The one with the fur who never leaves my side. Miss Persia has escaped to somewhere but I should also give her recognition as she has been here all day with Jackson and all three of us have had a wonderful Caturday. People underestimate the power of four legs in for as well as healthy junk food. Tomorrow I will adult.

365 Days, Living In The Moment: Day 353

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When I saw this you know I had to post it. I would say it’s mostly right. I don’t like how some of the grammar is a little bit off. I didn’t that it describes me well. I won’t be getting it anytime soon, I don’t like it that much. I think it’s cool though. I’m not one to be a walking billboard for a brand. But that’s just me, I’m weird like that. Even if it did describe me well I think I would end up using it as pyjamas just because I never did like walking around with my name on my chest.